K9 oneshots
by CarpAreNotFriendly
Summary: A selction of oneshots centered around the chracter K9 (who is the most awesome thing in the whole of space and time) number 6 - K9 Vs The Dalek. Please send in requests, i will take both classic and modern :)
1. K9 and the Curious Stranger

**K9 AND THE CURIOUS STRANGER**

_**Sarah Jane is out with K9, and they meet a random stranger, the stranger is curious about k9 and has lots of questions, much to Sarah Jane's annoyance!**_

**_characters - K9 and Sarah Jane Smith_**

As i was walking down the street, a random stranger walked in front of me, he had bright green eyes and a mop of messy light brown hair. He smiled.

"What's with the metal dog," He asked me,

"What metal dog?" I replied innocently.

"That metal dog, the one by your foot,"

"That's not…" I started.

"Yes it is, are you a metal dog?" he asked my metal dog.

"Affirmative," my metal dog answered, I glared at him, annoyed for giving that away, I was trying to be inconspicuous, which was hard with a large piece of talking metal.

"See, what's his name?" He asked me.

"K9," I replied shortly.

"Where on earth did you get him?" He was full of questions.

"Who says I got him on earth?" I snapped.

"Where…" he started.

"None of your business!" I shouted.

I know, i probably not have snapped at him, but he was really getting on my nerves,

He winced, and turned to my metal dog.

"K9, where did she buy you?" he was probably wanting his own k9.

"I was not bought, I was made,"

"You were made!" He cried incredulously.

"Affirmative,"

"She made you?" He gaped disbelievingly.

"not mistress,"

"If not her, then who made you" He wondered.

"I was made by my master," K9 said.

"Your, master?"

"Affirmative,"

"Who is your master?" He asked.

"Master Doctor,"

"Master doctor, what kind of name is that, are you sure that's his real name?"

"Affirmative"

"What's with the, 'Affirmative' anyway?"

"Its cool" I replied defensively. This guy was really annoying.

"Cool, meaning a fairly low temperature" K9 responded. "Turning on air conditioning, that provides a cool temperature."

"wait, k9, no, don't turn on your air conditioning ,"

"aborting air conditioning,"

"good boy,"

"wait, that thing has air conditioning?" He questioned.

"Yes, That Thing, has air conditioning, That Thing also has a name!" I glared at him

"Ok, ok, no need to get angry," He replied hastily.

I glanced at my watch,

"We had better get going," I said through gritted teeth, wanting to get as far away as possible from him.

"yeah, Adios, K9!"

Thank-fully he turned and walked off, feeling pretty pleased with himself. I really hated that guy.

"Adios, meaning goodbye in Spanish,"

"Yeah k9, I know that, he does to, he was just saying goodbye"

"Affirmative"


	2. Contemplating

**CONTEMPLATING  
**

_**k9 has been captured by the master and is contemplating his feelings about how much he is loved. He wonders, if he is loved so much, why was he given away. He is pretty upset. songfic to 'k9's lament' by chameleon circuit. If you have not heard the song, go listen to it now, it is awesome!**_

_**Characters - K9 and The Master (kinda)**_

K9 sat and he thought. He did alot of thinking, but not this kind. He thought about facts and figures, like how many people lived on earth, and all the weakness's of the Slitheen. But never emotions. It always seemed that he was a robot without emotions. That he never had feelings, like he was never happy or sad, never bored or excited. But that was not true. He was a dog, a metal dog, but he was still a dog. He had friends, and he had enemies. Enemies, for example, The Master, and pretty much every alien that the doctor annoyed. And friends, The Doctor, Romana, Leela and Sarah Jane, to name a few. But often, he did not want to show his emotions, well he couldn't. So it was better just to say affirmative. A nice word he thought. But here he was, captive to the master. The Master, who had thought the best way to discover information about the doctor and those close to him, was through his pet. The tin dog. Now he began to comtemplate just how much the doctor loved him. If he loved him so much, why hadnt he been rescued yet? Maybe The Doctor had decided to leave him. After all, he was just made of metal.

_I knew a man that I will never forget_  
_But nobody ever remembers the pet_  
_He took me from the year 5000 on a lonely asteroid_  
_He said he was looking for a droid_  
_He was my master, his attention I did crave_  
_To him, I was nothing more than a slave_  
_We saved creatures all across the galaxy_  
_But nobody ever thought to save me_

He remebered all the times he had been left behind. Not the best thing to remember, but he was in a depressing situation. On gallifrey with Leela. On e-space with Romana, and on Earth with Sarah Jane. Well, being left on E-space with Romana was compulsory, he had no choice. He had been damaged by the time winds and was forced to stay. Pretty unfair.

_And I wonder what life would be like if_  
_I could choose not to say affirmitive_  
_People tell me what to do and I just roll along_  
_But inside my metal head I'm singing my song_

If he hadn't travelled with the doctor, he would have saved alot of pain and misery. Such as on E-space, when he had been defending mistress Romana, he had, had his head knocked off and put on a stick, and used as a weapon. Then he contracted laryngitis, and could not speak. The fact that he had wheels also gave him pain and disadvantages. how whas he supposed to travel in terrians like marsh and snow, or climb over branches and swim through rivers. It was ok on flat grounds like roads and pavements, but it was otherwise imparctical.

_Treacherous compliance, what have you done to me?_  
_I'm a fraction of the shadow of the canine I could be_  
_I see other dogs in the park fetching sticks and digging bones_  
_Never has a tin dog ever felt so alone_  
_Oh no_

He was alone. A unique tin dog. Alone. Well, there were three incarnations of him, but he never saw them, and when he did, they did not get along. Just so you can keep up to date, here is some useful information. K9 Mark I, went to live on Gallifrey with Leela. K9 Mark II went to live on E-space with Romana. And K9 Mark III went to live on earth with Sarah Jane. He was K9 Mark III at the moment, he was no longer with Sarah Jane, he had been kinnapped, well dognapped, well, tindognapped by the master. He had sent a message via physic paper to the doctor, in the hope of help, but so far, things were not looking so hopeful. Things never looked that hopeful when he was around aliens and time lords and other things like that.

_He gave me to Sarah Jane as a gift_  
_but I wasn't consulted, I was a little miffed_  
_Is this what I'm reduced to, a casual memento?_  
_I've seen all of creation, but to it I'm incidental_  
_But there's more to this automaton than they will ever know_  
_I'm more than just alloys and circuits, I have soul_  
_And I've got dreams just like everybody else_  
_I could conquer the world if I could conquer myself_

Being given to Sarah Jane wasn't that bad, the doctor had given her him because he had thought that he would enjoy it, hadn't he? That he thought they would have lots of adventures. He had been right, though. Fighting sontarons and Slitheen. He consoled himself that if he had not met the doctor, he would never have had all those good times. Like playing, and beating, the doctor at chess, and fighting all those aliens. Meeting all of his Masters and Mistrisses. Romana, Sarah Jane, even Luke, Clyde and Rani To name a few. The pain was worth it.

**So, i absolutely love this song, and k9, (he is just so awesome) so i just had to do this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song or any of the charactrers mentioned, or more importantly k9, because if i did, he would be a regular main character.**


	3. Fleeing

**FLEEING**_**  
**_

_**Fleeing from the doctor. K9 sat in the TARDIS, and he thought about his day, today was different. For today was the day he fled from the doctor. K9 and the TARDIS leave the doctor. (i know it is unlikely but i had to do it)**_

_**Characters - K9 and The TARDIS**_

K9 sat in the TARDIS, and he thought about his day, today was different. For today was the day he fled from the doctor.

He was no longer loved.

He had been abandoned too many times.

Far to many times.

On Gallifrey, on E-space, on Earth, you name it.

So today he had fled, but not alone, with the doctors most faithful companion. The TARDIS.

The Doctor's loyal pet, and The Doctor's trustworthy transport.

Off on a journey together.

How it should be

Together.

Forever.

**_short i know, please send in requests, i am losing insperation!_**


	4. Waiting

**WAITING**

_**When he never came back, Amelia decided to go and explore the attic, pretending that she was the doctor, exploring some far away planet. She came across an old box, upon opening it, she discovered a metal dog, a metal dog called K9, some one to keep her company.**_

_**Characters - K9 and Amelia Pond**_

She padded softly up the stairs, the old wood creaking and groaning under the weight of her slippers. She was wearing pale pink pyjamas with white bunny slippers. She was going up to the attic, to visit an old friend. He was the only thing that kept her sane, because he was the only thing that assured her that she had not been hallucinating that night, that night when she got a very special visitor. She got a visit from the man in the blue box, the man that called himself The Doctor. She pushed open the trap door. It groaned, like everything else up here. Her aunt was out, again. She pulled herself up into the attic, and looked around for him. Everything was dark, there was not even the usual beam of moonlight. As she walked, the dust rose up off the floor-boards, making her sneeze. There was a noise from over in the corner, the sound of wheels on wood. A small pinprick of red against the blackness.

"K9," she whispered, even though there was no-one else home, she still felt the need to whisper.

"Affirmative Mistress." Came the standard reply.

"Good dog." She could almost imagine the wire that was his tail moving in a feeble attempt to wag. He continued to wheel over to her, bumping over the uneven floorboards, until he was right there, his cold metal against her warm skin. She ran her hand over his head, stroking him like she would with the dog from down the road. As she looked out at the stars, she wondered about the raggedy man with the little blue box, and if he was having any adventures.

"Why didn't he come back for me?" She asked him.

"Data unavailable mistress," K9 replied.

"Silly dog." His head tilted to the side as if wondering what that meant.

"Did you travel with him K9?" Amelia asked.

"Affirmative."

"Did he forget about you too?" She asked.

"He sent me to live with Sarah Jane Smith mistress."

"So he did forget about you?"

There was a whirring sound, and K9 seemed unable to reply. He may have been the smartest dog in the world, but when it came to emotions, he was hopeless.

"You and me together K9, eh."

**_they are getting shorter and shorter. I am out of ideas, so please help by sending some in._**


	5. Relaxing

**RELAXING**

_**K9 and Sarah Jane go out for a walk in the park, relaxing like a normal dog and owner. How i think Sarah Jane and K9 spend their time together when they are not fighting aliens.**_

_**Characters - K9 and Sarah Jane Smith**_

He just rolled along beside her, not minding that he was covered in mud, or the fact that his front, left wheel felt slightly loose. He was happy. Or at least as close to happy a tin dog without emotions could get. Peace. Him and Mistress relaxing, just taking a walk in the park. Like a normal dog and owner. Fro once, his head not filled with facts and figures, just peace. She stopped at the top of the hill, he slowly went to catch up with her, bumping along on his slightly loose wheels. She just sat down, spreading her jacket on the grass. Waiting for him to join her. His ever patient mistress. He was her loyal companion, forever. She held up her arm to shield her eyes from the sun. It was actually quite warm, despite it being late October. If she was too warm, all she had to do was ask, and he would turn on his air conditioning. He was quite useful like that. She gazed out at the view, down at the hills and valleys that were layed out in front of them.

"Isn't it beautiful K9."

"Affirmative mistress."

She smiled, looking very happy.

"How long do you think before we have to head back?" She asked him.

"Precisely two hours, thirty seven minutes, and fourteen seconds mistress."

"You know, i was only asking for an estimate."

"two and a half hours." He replied

She laughed, shaking her head at him, clearly amused.

They sat there for a while longer, before slowly starting to make their way down the slope. Her walking briskly, and him, bumping along, trying to keep up.

**_what did you think?_**


	6. K9 vs The Dalek

**HAPPY NEW YEAR**

**This one-shot was suggested by Daltor, who is an awesome author so go check out his/her stoires. I am going to do two dalek ones, this random face off, and a proper one that i will put a bit more thought into, this was something random i thought up in ten minutes. :)**

"Exterminate, Exterminate the human race!"

"Negative!"

A single bolt of red light flew from the gun on K9's nose. It hit the middle of the eye-stalk and sparks flew. The dalek spun, veering off to the left.

"Exterminate, Exterminate!"

"Negative!"

Again K9 fired.

But the dalek was quicker.

K9 rolled, tipping and tilting, but his center of gravity had shifted too far to the left. He hit the ground with a dull thump, a wheel came loose, and bounced over towards the Dalek. His nose bounced, dented, twisted off at a weird angle.

"I have defeated the dog."

"Negative!"

The wheel hit the Dalek in the middle of the eyestalk. The glass shattered, peices flying everywhere. There was a huge bang as the Dalek blew a fuse.

"I have exterminated the Dalek!" K9 crowed.

"Affirmative." The Dalek replied.

**What do you think. I am seriously out of ideas, almost on the point of giving this up. I hope you like this Daltor, and i will do a better Dalek one next :)**


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